Single, white, affluent male starting a savage cult; orders submissive, obedient followers to worship and praise my every move. No shirt, no shoes, no service.
Skilled prevaricator desires gullible gal for meaningless, one-sided love affair. Pie-eyed Pollyannas preferred.
I'm a retired auto mechanic with severe mood swings and depression. Overweight, two teeth, living in a trailer park, and passing time by picking my nose. You're the total opposite.
Hunka-hunka burning love. If you've got the fire, I've got the hose. Seeking a workbench to park my tool. Looks not important, but must be disease-free. Quadrupeds, mutes welcome.
Neurotic camel-lover in search of woman who will wear a sheet over her head. Has to love having no electricity, sharing horrid body odors, and living in sand castles.
Be my Morticia. Gomez-ish guy seeks woman with incredible figure and long, straight, jet-black hair for supernatural LTR. Cousin Its welcome, too.
Do you have a big head? Anime aficionado seeks big-headed woman to be my cartoon concubine. Cartoon-channel devotees especially encouraged to apply.
Male immigrant whose visa is about to expire in search of love at first sight. You must be ready for an immediate marriage based on love and trust--or at least be willing to testify that it is.
Obsessive guy needs female test subject to test-drive new ways of stalking my ex, and for discreet short-term relationship.
What would your ad say?
