you
shoot one of them, how many will be left?" She calls on Brooklyn Tony.
He
replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot." The
teacher
replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."
Then Brooklyn Tony says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women
sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the
sides of
the triple scoop of ice cream. The second is gobbling down the top and
sucking the cone. The third is biting off the top of the ice cream.
Which
one is married?" The teacher, blushing a great deal, replied, "Well, I
suppose the one that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone." To
which
Brooklyn Tony replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the wedding
ring
on,' but I like your thinking."
Brooklyn Tony ON MATH
Brooklyn Tony returns from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.
"Why?"
asks the father? "The teacher asked 'How much is 2x3,' I said '6,'"
replies
TONY. "But that's right!" says his dad. "Yeah, but then she asked me
'How
much is 3x2?'" "What's the fucking difference?" asks the father.
"That's
what I said!"
Brooklyn Tony ON ENGLISH
Brooklyn Tony goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going
to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a
multi-syllable word?" TONY says "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and
says,
"Wow, Brooklyn Tony, that's a mouthful." Little TONY says, "No, Miss
Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
Brooklyn Tony ON GRAMMAR
One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
of
hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same
sentence
twice. First, she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My
father
bought my mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."
"Very
good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.
"My
mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out beautifully." She
said,
"Excellent, Michael!" Then the teacher reluctantly called on Brooklyn
Tony.
"Last night at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and he said 'Beautiful, just fucking beautiful!'"
Brooklyn Tony ON GETTING OLDER
Brooklyn Tony was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar
after
another. After the 6th one a man on the bench across from him said,
"Son,
you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you
acne,
rot your teeth, and make you fat." Brooklyn Tony replied, "My
grandfather
lived to be 107 years old." The man asked, "Did your grandfather eat 6
candy
bars at a time?" Brooklyn Tony answered, "No, he minded his own
fucking
business."
